You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize