doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
