you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
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