What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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