Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
time to smoke my breakfast
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I smell like Dick and happiness
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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