i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
