HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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