I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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