Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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