it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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