I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
