So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
