If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
