whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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