I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
