shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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