His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
