i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
