Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
