I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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