she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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