she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
