i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
