my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
