The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
