Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
