Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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