I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
