Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
