Buhtt sex?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
