Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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