I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
