I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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