So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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