Those balls look pretty dangerous.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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