She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
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allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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