How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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