Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
foreskin is a definite game changer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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