In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
