Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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