i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
