Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm at about main and main street
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
