But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
