She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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