I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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