i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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