Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
