We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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