They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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