I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
tell me about the fingering
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