We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
