so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
