yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
