My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
God, I missed his penis.
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