Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
