Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
