he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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