Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
