So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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