break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
